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A camper is comforted by staff during a memorial service at Camp Good Grief.

When Angela Hamblen, clinical director of the Baptist Trinity Center for Good Grief, sits down with a child who has just lost a loved one, she is often surprised to see the different ways in which grief is experienced. She recalled a particular encounter with a 6-year-old girl whose mother had recently died. As they began the counseling process, Hamblen helped the child understand that her mother was never coming back. She didn't break down in tears, but was particularly concerned about one thing. "Who's going to make my lunch?" the little girl said. "What about your dad?" Hamblen asked. Her reply, "He doesn't do it right."

Losing a loved one is something everyone will experience, but grief is not something people want to hear about until they are experiencing it.

"Grief is the one common factor of all people," maintained Hamblen.

Hamblen has been with Baptist Trinity Home Care and Hospice for 11 years and in that time, she's seen a major paradigm shift in bereavement services. For those on Medicare, hospice services can provide 13 months of grief counseling. But that doesn't fund follow up services for everyone in the family who may need it, particularly children, who Hamblen calls "the forgotten mourners."

In the late '90s, bereavement counselors at Baptist were seeing more and more children, Hamblen said, for reasons that weren't entirely clear, "whether it was children being raised by grandparents or other reasons…the community needed it here."

"There were a lot of myths out there about children and grief," recalled Hamblen, maintaining the myths still persist. "(People) think they don't grieve, but they grieve very differently than adults."

In fact, she said, children can become overprotective of parents who they see grieving, and may not effectively cope with their own grief.

Hamblen and her team campaigned for a grant to provide bereavement services to kids and the Baptist Memorial Health Care Foundation stepped up. Services for children began in 1999 with Camp Good Grief, a free camp held each year that provides children with a supportive, friendly environment where they can express their feelings about a lost loved one. Over three days, camp counselors teach children how to cope with the loss, to remember the loved one, and to move forward in life. Facilitated by mental health professionals and volunteers, camp consists of engaging therapeutic activities like art, music and recreation through which they can explore their grief. Children also participate in a memorial service for their loved one, as well as support groups, in addition to regular camp activities like swimming.

At the first meeting, Hamblen explained, children are told they are at Camp Good Grief because someone they love died.

"(Right away) they can see they're not alone; it's okay to cry" she said. "It teaches them grief is not something to keep locked away somewhere. If they don't have a safe environment, they may carry the grief and blame."

The effects of bottling up grief can affect the delicate fabric of a family. National studies have shown that children and teens who don't effectively deal with grief are more prone to depression, anxiety disorders, drug and alcohol use and teen pregnancy.

"People don't like to see children not be happy," said Hamblen. "They will be happy again. Let's get them through it."

Even the hardest-to-reach kids come out of their protective shells at camp, and it's quite common for former campers to become camp volunteers.

After the success of Camp Good Grief, the center began the teen camp in 2001. In 2003, the adult camp was added and in 2005, so was the full-service bereavement center. Services are provided to children, teens, adults and families free of charge. The center relies on the foundation and the Memphis Junior League for funding, as well as other local organizations.

At the center, bereavement services for children are divided into age groups – under age 5, ages 5 to 8, ages 9 to 12, and teens. Children, especially younger children, Hamblen explained, can often seem like they are not grieving because they still play or don't have the severe reactions that are common with adult grief.

"We work developmentally on where they are," explained Hamblen. "For younger kids, it's helping them understand the finality of death. Each person's grief is so different."

Counselors may use puppet play, journal writing and poetry, along with sand tray therapy to talk about the funeral and how a family member was laid to rest.

In March, Baptist Trinity Home Care and Hospice broke ground for its new Baptist Trinity Hospice House. With a sizeable donation from the Kemmons Wilson Foundation, the bereavement center is being built near the hospice house and will be renamed the Kemmons Wilson Foundation Center for Good Grief. Near the Baptist Collierville campus, the hospice house is staffed by a multidisciplinary team that will provide acute care to hospice patients, while bereavement specialists and volunteers will provide care to patients and their loved ones. The Kemmons Wilson Center will expand the current bereavement services to a larger area, offering year-round support, and outdoor recreation therapy. Families will receive additional support services such as comfort baskets and pet, music and massage therapy. Hamblen envisions future services to include Saturday camps and holiday camps, which they plan to begin at the end of 2009.

In the meantime, the staff remains diligent in spreading the word throughout the community.

"Every week, I talk to someone who never knew we existed," Hamblen said.

Overall, the center and camps provide healthy atmospheres for the entire family to work through their grief and heal. And they spread the love throughout the community by providing counseling and education services to schools, churches and businesses.

Assured Hamblen, "We come where you need us."

For more information: www.trinity.baptistonline.org, 901-767-6767

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